


you're gonna tell your reflection (it's gonna be okay)

by sxndazed



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23502400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxndazed/pseuds/sxndazed
Summary: A look into the moments you'll have in your life.
Relationships: Chris Colfer/Darren Criss
Kudos: 12





	you're gonna tell your reflection (it's gonna be okay)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by "It's Gonna Be Okay, Baby" by MUNA

There's going to be a feeling of pride, of feeling like everything that has happened up until this moment has happened for this reason, this moment. There's going to be contracts signed and details skimmed over because  _ holy fuck you've made it _ and a moment where it feels like nothing is going to get better than this.

There's going to be a trailer with your name on it and a call sheet that you'll take home because it's the first. There's going to be script upon script that might be a little dumb sometimes, but it's good work and it's  _ making a difference. _ It's an opportunity to show that you're more than capable and a chance to become a safe place for people different from you, people like you.

There are going to be late nights and days filled with too much. Too many lines, too many words, too many songs, too many people. There will be too many obligations, but you'll take on all of them because you've never been one to disappoint others, and you don't want to start now. There will be days where your voice is hoarse, and your head is pounding from too much alcohol and too little sleep. Your hair is going to be smothered in product that makes you appreciate your curls even more than you thought, and your clothes will be so tight that you'll dream about the moment you can change back into your navy blue shirt with a faded yellow M.

There are going to be times when the questions become invasive and repetitive. You're going to be questioned time after time, moment after moment. Your words will be dissected and misinterpreted, and you'll speak and speak and speak because you're afraid to be misunderstood. Your actions will be put on display to be scrutinized at every waking moment, and sometimes  _ fuck it _ is the only thought that fills your head but you know you  _ can't. _

You'll be tired and annoyed and upset, but you can show it. You're grateful, fuck you're so grateful and there's no way anyone should ever think you're not. But you want the questions to stop and the analyzing to go away and for everything to smooth over because why should the idea that you're comfortable with dick overshadow the work you're doing, the work you're making?

You'll take all of it because there doesn't seem to be a way where you can't, but that won't stop the feeling of dread that lives in the pit of your stomach and makes your heart twist and ache.

There will be a series of decisions that you're going to regret. They will turn you into someone you don't recognize, someone you could have been years ago but not someone you are then. There will be too many outings and too many favours done for others and too little time for yourself. You can't say no, and you probably wouldn't have anyway. Remember, people-pleaser?

You'll be in a house that doesn't feel like home and wonder how you got to this point. You'll wonder how your eyes got so dark and dull and how your smile became less genuine over time. You'll strum the strings of your guitar with your chipped painted nails and wonder if it was worth it, if any of it was worth it.

But then you'll find yourself in a bed that you're not in as often as you want that's so comfortable that you won't want to leave. You'll hear paws skitter across the hardwood floor and feel the light filter in through the space between the curtains and warm your body. It's then that you'll know it was worth it.

There's going to be a boy, a man that you meet who changes your life. He's a fan of yours who can quote lines from your show and you won't believe him, but he'll keep doing it until you do. There will be a dinner and a show the day you meet, and it's going to be a moment you'll never forget.

There's going to be a kiss that changes everything. It'll be a moment you're humbled to be a part of and proud to portray, but it'll also be a moment that makes you feel safe and at home. There are more kisses after that, more duets where all you see is blue with flecks of green and gold and hear how well your voices blend to create art.

There's going to be a ring, one made of jade that brings out your eyes and sits so perfectly around your finger. You'll twist it with your fingers, and it'll be skin-warm and perfect no matter what you decide to wear with it. It's going to represent a promise, a future you hope to have, and it'll mean the world to you.

There are going to be fights, words thrown out that are meant to hurt and leave bruises behind but never wounds. There are going to be soothing touches and kisses on every inch of skin because nothing matters more than the moments you have together. There will be the moments at night where you kiss freckled cheeks and mornings where you're too warm with an arm around you and a leg flung across your body, but it makes you feel lighter than air.

You'll find out how love can really be and how much depth the words "I love you" hold. You'll understand that it's being said even when the words aren't spoken, in the tea-filled thermos waiting for you as you head out the door and the key cut out just for you months after you've met. You'll learn that you've never felt love at this magnitude and that you've never been happier than when you're with him.

The life you'll have is not the one you pictured, and it's not the one you want. It'll be too much and not enough, and you're going to wish things had gone differently. But you'll hold onto the ring you never wear for public eyes and you'll know that you'll wait for the moment you can.

There's going to be so much that happens, but it's gonna be okay.

You're gonna be okay.


End file.
